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Dear Dianne,

What can I say to dear Dianne?
I love her, every bit.
Can't wait for our times together,
Man, she sure can baby sit!

She tells me I'm her Handsome Boy,
It means a lot to me.
Makes me so excited,
Then I tend to poop and pee.

I'm only 4 months old, of course,
So everything is fine.
If all keeps up I'll marry her
When I reach the age of nine.

She takes the greatest care of me,
Keeps my "Mr. Dog" so close.
In truth, you know, I love her,
As everybody knows.

She's nice and slim, amazing,
I'd guess that's she's a size three.
How she eats the way she does
Is really beyond me.

A cheeseburger sub and French fries,
Almost every day.
But even more, Dianne has
A special culinary way.

Her favorite, and it's wild,
Is worth it's weight in gold.
She gets off on yogurt
That's at least two mealy months old!

She says it's nice and chunky,
Lapping up a great, thick dose.
Let Dianne eat in peace,
For me, it's just plain gross.

She seems obsessed of late,
From what I see, I think,
With clothing of one color,
And that, you know, is pink.

She talks to me in silly voices,
Plays with me on the floor.
Sings to me so sweetly,
I always want some more.

Her boyfriend Jerry, my cousin,
He really knows how to rock!
But I don't appreciate
The things he leaves on my sock.

Not to quibble, anyway,
Dianne and Jerry are great.
And the way she cares for me?
Believe me, it's first rate.

I'm her baby, truly,
And she's my French-fry pal.
I got it made, believe me,
I love this older gal.

She's a registered nurse and bookkeeper,
But I'll give her a job for life.
If just for this blasted age difference,
I'd make Dianne my wife!

We'd put it in our scrap book,
No ifs, no ands, no maybe.
Dianne is the world's best sitter,
And forever I'm her sweet baby!

Love,

Austin Joseph

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